The Changing Tides of Friendship
Anonymous • Nov 17, 2020
You sat there without a voice, and my heart broke for you...
The sun beamed on us as we blasted music and shared a laugh in the car. You in the driver’s seat, steering us towards an afternoon of adventure. It was just like always, like what had been before was on pause several acts ago in the movie.
It all changed that winter. A shift that I’d known was coming, but that I didn’t want to believe. I worried that if I truly acknowledged the obvious, that it would will it true, even though it was already happening. You’d always been my rock, my mentor. But It was time to shift into a different role.
That’s the thing about friendship. It takes on many forms, and evolves to fit many circumstances.
There were the times where it was difficult, where I didn’t know where things sat. Where I felt like my primary role was carer, as opposed to friend. It was a hard road to navigate, but through road blocks and rocky terrain we got there.
You sat there without a voice, and my heart broke for you. I would show up for you, the same way you’d shown up for me.
It felt like a whirlpool, like a ping pong ball being hit in every direction as I tried to stay balanced. I mourned for the past, but came to accept the present. Piece by piece we built it together.
Through waves of emotional distress, hardship, surprises, admission and heartbreak, I watched you rise, each time more resilient than the last. And I watched you flourish and utilise these experiences, using your diversity to make a mark, and a big one at that.
I’ve seen you with such vacancy behind your eyes that it felt like you were living in a whole different world, lost and confused. I’ve also seen you thriving and lighting up the world with your smile and bright aura. Smiles and laughter in your wake, an incomparable warmth in your smile. We’ve seen each other through the highs, the plateaus, and whatever else lies in between.
Just because there are new layers, doesn’t mean a new you. I’m no longer afraid to seek advice, to add to your plate, or your burdens. We are equals, each with our own unique challenges and hardships that we can help each other through.
Finding the balance in our friendship wasn’t a straight road, but a windy one less travelled. But we got there. Change can be displacing, but in this case it proved to be enhancing. Here we are now, stronger than ever and seldom a worry not shared. It really feels like we’ve been through it all.
I guess that’s just us.
On 11th November, GenMH University Mental Health Fellow, Gakii Mwithali, organised a hugely successful mental health training session attended by over 350 students of Egerton University in Kenya. The event was hosted by GULI Club and sponsored by GenMH, and focussed on the following topics: Mental Health Literacy; Sexual harassment and its implication on mental health among the youth; Contraception among the youth and its implications and; Effects of FGM on mental health among the youth.
The current economic climate has had a significant impact on mental health. Lasting impacts from the COVID-19 pandemic, along with increasing global instability have exacerbated existing mental health inequalities, disproportionately affecting marginalized communities. It's essential to prioritize mental health during these difficult times by seeking support, practicing self-care, and staying connected with others. However, looking after your mental health doesn't have to be expensive. Here are some low-cost or free ways to prioritize your mental well-being: Spend time in nature: From a short walk in your local park, to a weekend camping trip, taking a break from technology to spend some time in nature has been shown to reduce stress and promote feelings of wellbeing. Find new ways to be active: Exercise has numerous benefits for mental health, including reducing stress and anxiety. It can also be a great way to meet new people. You don't need an expensive gym membership; a simple walk, jog, or yoga session can make a significant difference. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help reduce stress and promote emotional refection. There are numerous free resources online, including guided meditation apps or videos on YouTube. Connect with others: Social connections are essential for mental health. It can be difficult to find time for friends and family in an increasingly online world. However, making time to go for a picnic with friends or joining a local social group can make a significant positive impact on your mental health. Prioritise sleep: Lack of sleep can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression. Prioritize getting enough sleep each night by establishing a consistent sleep routine and limiting screen time before bed. Volunteer: Volunteering is a great way to meet like-minded people, give you an feeling of purpose and meaning, and also increase your self confidence. Consider volunteering with an organisation in your local community or even starting your own organisation/initiative! Looking after your mental health doesn't have to be expensive. By prioritizing self-care and making small changes to your daily routine, you can improve your mental well-being without breaking the bank.